I’m pretty good at denying  the inevitable, refusing to acknowledge things like the electric bill really is due again already or that I’m going to die penniless.

But if the next few weeks fly by as quickly as the last couple did, pretty soon it’s going to be fall and I won’t be able to deny that cold weather is imminent.

And I have nothing to wear. Nothing. at. all. All of the tops I have were purchased this summer. Anything with sleeves (jackets excluded) is way too big.

I’m stuck between clothing sizes, between a 10 and a 12. Again. Only at this point, I am too close to my goal to really justify buying much of anything. It’s the best of times and the worst of times — I’m still losing weight, but I occassionally look like hell.

Today, for example, I noticed my cropped white pants have gotten bigger on me, but not too big to stop wearing them. But that little bit of extra room took them from flattering to Michelin Tire Man territory.  

Not all is lost, though. I ventured into The Gap for the first time ever a few weeks ago and fit into a pair of jeans (on clearance for $12.59, for the record) that were a size 12 — but they were low rise and skinny cut. Because of my belly, I never fit into pants in that cut in my size; I’d always have to go up a size. So when I slipped into low-rise, skinny cut size 12 jeans from the Gap for $12.59, it was as if the sun came out right there in the dressing room.

Still, as far as dress pants for work go, I have few options. The cropped pants I do have (in white and pastel pink, so it’s not as if I can wear them lots without it being obvious) are teetering on too big, so I wonder if I’ll even be wearing them long enough to pair them with knee high boots for fall.

It’s not worth it to shop at this point. I’d like to wait at least until I’m between an 8 and 10, where I presume I’ll be stuck for ages because I want that 8 so bad I can taste it.

If nothing else, this style purgatory is really going to push me to work out a lot harder. Because I’m a 12, I want to be an 8, and I used to be a 24W. So let’s get real — if I’ve gone from a 24W to a 12, how hard can be it to get to an 8?

Game face = on.

Advertisements