When I first started to lose weight, I loved seeing the results in photographs. I’d post them all over Facebook and MySpace and wait for my friends who hadn’t seen me in years to post comments.

When this photo was taken, in May 2007, it was one of my all-time favorites. I remember thinking that I had never looked better and my face had never looked thinner. Those pants were my favorite, a junior’s size 3X from Deb Shoppe, which is probably around a 20W or 22W and were almost falling off at this point, but I loved them. Even the bright colored circles highlighting my gut didn’t get me down. I remember thinking how there was such a difference in me and that I would be thin very, very soon.

Fast forward three years and I still like to have my photo taken, but many don’t make it on Facebook. Instead, I sit and analyze every little last flaw.

This photo was taken last month with some former coworkers of mine who met me for lunch before I left for Florida. Instead of concentrating on how lucky I am to know them — some of the best people I’ve ever met, let alone worked with — all I could see was the roll of my gut and the bulge of my thighs.

It seems as if my self esteem and positive body image have shrunk along with my dress size.

I have never been one to sit on yesterday’s achievements, and I never wanted to be too proud of my weight loss, because I want to keep going forward. But somewhere along the way I stopped seeing my weight loss as an accomplishment.

I talk a lot on this blog about recommitting to healthy choices and healthy living daily, but I have not been doing a very good job of committing to a positive attitude about myself. Where I once cried tears of joy over wearing a size 16 pair of jeans, I now cry tears of frustration and anger at still being stuck between a 10 and a 12 — sizes that looked like doll clothes to me when I weighed 300 pounds.

Going forward, I’m going to keep pushing toward my goal, mixing up my exercise routines and training for more races, but I’m making a conscious effort to remember where I came from. I’ll remember my 300-pound self and how in awe she would be to see me running races and trying on wedding dresses.

“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.” — Confucius

What is your proudest health accomplishment?

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