Ever since we got engaged (OK, pretty much since we met), I’ve been obsessed with the idea of my wedding dress. I knew exactly what I didn’t want, but other than that, I was open to trying on anything and everything. I have a deep, deep love for formal gowns (including prom gowns — every spring I drool over them), and I love looking at them, touching them and trying them on. Fiance joked that I might leave my wedding band at home and continue trying on gowns long after our big day. In total, I think I tried on 17, but The Dress was #7.
The Dress will remain super secret until the wedding, but I do want to share my shopping experience. Even though I love dresses, I was pretty nervous. I was afraid I’d look huge or I wouldn’t be able to find The Perfect Dress Made Just For Me. I know that it is a dress for one day and I didn’t want to blow it out of proportion, but I’m a clothes person. My weight loss journey began in the pursuit of fashion. I watch awards shows only for the fashion. I love reading about high end fashion and how they construct couture. And, you know, it’s my WEDDING DRESS! I’ve never forgotten the weddings I’ve been to where the bride rocked an amazing gown.
The whole experience reminded me of shopping for my prom gown. I was a lot heavier, albeit not my heaviest, in high school, but I was still excited to go find a prom dress. At that weight I never worried that I wouldn’t find a gown or that I would look too fat in my dress.
My senior prom, May 2002. It’s funny how weight loss can skew your perception of yourself.
Anyways, I am so happy and so excited about my dress! I won’t officially purchase it until my mom sees me in it at the end of the month, but I could not believe I found The Dress so quickly. I think it has a lot to do with my approach to dress shopping, so I’ve put together some tips for other brides-to-be:
– Most importantly, enjoy it. This is such a happy time and you cannot let stress ruin this experience. After the death of my close friend back in December, I’ve learned how important it is to savor moments like this. My friend was 25 and will never get to shop for wedding dresses, so think of that before you have some bridezilla meltdown in the dressing room.
– Don’t set your heart on one particular dress. I saw two different ones in bridal magazines that I loved, but they were upwards of $7,500 ( … yeah). But I saw that each one that grabbed my eye had a lot of similar details and made sure to mention those when I shopped.
– Don’t judge a dress by how it looks on the hanger, in a plastic bag. If the sales girl brings it, try it. They always look completely different on.
– Get out there and shop. Go to 12 different stores if you want to or have to. As much as I love bridal magazines (and they are slowly but surely taking over the entire house), all the dresses were starting to look the same to me. It made such a difference to just bite the bullet and make the appointments.
– It’s great to have a specific dress style (A-line, ball gown, mermaid, etc) in mind, but I think it’s even better to give the sales girl a bunch of adjectives: Timeless. Classic. Modern. Funky. Dramatic. Simple.
– Pick your dress before the bridesmaids’ dresses. Now that I’ve found The Dress, we can look for bridemaids’ dresses that really work well with it.
– And finally, much like when you met your fiance, when you put on the right dress, you will know. I’ve read that a million times and never really believed it, but it was true for me. When I put on The Dress, I pictured myself walking down the aisle in it — and that’s a visual I’d never had before.
If you’re married or engaged, how many wedding dresses did you try on? How did you know when you’d found The Dress?
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14 comments
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July 16, 2010 at 8:23 am
MelissaNibbles
Great tips. I’m not really into wedding dresses. I think they make everyone look like a cupcake or a roll of toilet paper no matter what the body shape. I just want to wear a simple off white or light blue dress if I ever get married.
I can’t wait to see what you chose though!
July 16, 2010 at 9:26 am
Anna
I knew that I wanted one designer, so I only tried on about five of her dresses…my dress was number three, but I tried on a few more just to be sure. Having a beach wedding was nice because it really narrowed down the field as far as what I wanted to wear– a satin ball gown just wouldn’t have looked appropriate! But– because I didn’t get to try on the big, princessy dresses, I’m now obsessed with the idea of going back to a shop and trying them all on! I’m going to do it one day! 🙂
July 16, 2010 at 9:46 am
Ashley
I LOVE your dress! I am going to go to stalk through the FB photos now … hahaha
July 16, 2010 at 9:26 am
Anna
OH! And– CONGRATS on finding your dress!!!!!
July 16, 2010 at 9:56 am
Katie H.
Great tips girl! And way to keep things in perspective. I seriously cannot understand how getting engaged gives some women the idea that they have permission to act like a complete beotch. Craziness I tell ya.
I only went to one bridal store and tried on about ten dresses. The dress that I went with was one of the last I tried on. I put it on and was shocked at how much I loved it. For one, I didn’t want strapless (so I thought) for the lack of support they provide. THE dress was strapless but had a lot of boning so it worked! When I got to the store I could not believe the sheer amount of strapless dresses and the lack of those with straps- granted you could always add them on yourself, but strapless is definitely a trend. Which is another reason why I shied away from it- I didn’t want my dress to date me to a specific time frame- ie- eighties puffiness. It’s funny how it works out!
July 16, 2010 at 9:57 am
shrinkingtogrow
I bought two dresses online, since we had been engaged for 2 years but randomly decided to elope to Vegas in less than a month…and when they arrived I hated them…so I donated them (they were less than $100 each, and no return policies on both), and went I went into the first store and tried on my first dress there, I KNEW it was it. 🙂
July 16, 2010 at 11:44 am
Rachel Wilkerson
Love this post! Congrats on finding the Dress!!
July 16, 2010 at 11:46 am
Anne @ the doctor takes a wife
ugh, I hated dress shopping. After trying to find a dress every year that was recital appropriate, I put a lot of pressure on myself to find something that would look good when everyone was looking at me… preferably for under $400 (yes I’m insane.)
My dress was the first I tried on, and the one I like the best. I’m such a sappy person, but I didn’t cry or say “OMG this is the one!!” I just felt comfortable and thought it was pretty.
Okay, I feel like that’s such a sad story. But looking back now I loved my dress!!
July 16, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Ashley
I SO wanted to be the girl who found The Dress for $98. Didn’t happen — but it’s the low end of average, and the bridal party/my mom don’t think the price is ridiculous, but I’m queen of the clearance rack!
(However, I’m going to stalk the tea length number I was in love with, and if it goes on sale … Hello rehearsal dinner outfit.)
July 16, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Katie @ Healthy Heddleston
The first store I went to I tried on a lot of dresses because I had NO CLUE what I even wanted in a dress — I tried all shapes and all different styles.
The second store was the last store I went to. I knew this store would be where I found the dress. I got more serious about what I wanted and narrowed it down to 4 favorites by the time I left.
Well on the second shopping experience with my mom and more friends involved we went back to the second store to show off the 4 favorites. I just happened to pull a 5th dress off the rack saying “I want to try this one on too.” THAT ended up being MY dress!!!
I love your tips and I think they are all SOOO true and applicable to brides shopping!
July 16, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Miranda
So I didn’t shop at all really. At first I was going to like, commission one, from a startup fashion company in SF, but they got too busy and it fell through.
After that, I thought about just getting something sorta nice from J Crew (I looked at a lot at bridesmaids’ dresses), because I’m not into tulle or mermaid-cut or all these other words I learned shopping. And we paid for everything ourselves (so as to have the most control, and because I don’t know, I felt weird asking), so my budget was like, $400, tops.
Then I was reading Offbeat Bride and saw the MOST HIDEOUS DRESS ever. It looked like a pinata had exploded down the back of this woman’s dress. So of course I click through to see what other hideousness was going on there. And I found a dress I loved. Hand-dyed organic silk (meaning there will never be another one exactly like it, and that it wouldn’t be even a little stiff) and not white! Totally neat.
So I sent the designer (http://www.wai-ching.com/) my measurements (which I did myself and then had Jake check again), and waited until about 3 weeks before the event, when I got the dress. Not enough time for alterations by the designer and — I’d never seen it ON me, not even a sample. I couldn’t afford a trip to Seattle.
What I saw on the site was RED. Like a deep red, maroonish? And what I got was pink. I am not a huge fan of pink and I don’t think it flatters me. I had a mini panic attack, and then a few hours later I was like, whatever.
I’m not sure that Jake loved it, and a lot of people said things about it being pretty much the opposite of white (my dad called it the Fruit Stripe Gum dress), but it felt cool to have a dress made Just for Me. That’ll never happen again! Plus, I pretty much balled it up in my suitcase for the second reception in Ohio and it did fine. And the sand from our photoshoot at the Pacific Ocean washed right out. 🙂
Here’s the dress on me
July 19, 2010 at 10:22 am
Ashley
I loved your dress! I remember seeing the photos on FB and loving it then!
July 20, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Heather @ Side of Sneakers
I will always remember going shopping with one of my friends for her dress- she wanted the very first one to try on, but her mom made her try on a billion other ones. She ended up getting the first one. 😉 When you know, you know!
July 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Alejandra
Hi there,
Congrats in finding the dress. I tried around 50 dresses. I didn’t know what I wanted so I just kept trying them and went to a Bridal Expo. Got one that was beautiful but over the weekend thinking about it I got sick, sick as throwing up thinking about wearing the dress. My now husband said, if you don’t like it let’s go to the store and see if you can exchange it. I went there and talked to the most amazing sales person ever, she said not a problem and helped me to find something I liked. I remembered I freaked out because of the sizes too…your real size could be 4 sizes up in a wedding dress. When I tried the dress I got I just knew, it was perfect for me. So it is true, when you have it on, you just know. Then since my wedding was in 2 weeks the ladies in alterations did miracles and had it ready on time. It was a stressful experience but I honestly think about coming up with some sort of celebration so I can wear it again haha!